you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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