Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
is that a dick in a sweater?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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