I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize