As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
