Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He kissed a someone with a penis
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
