i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
