did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
