WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
