made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
