kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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