Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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