i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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