Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
