I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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