I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
