Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
