your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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