Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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