you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
