She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
