just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
