she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
