so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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