David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
