first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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