I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
