and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
