Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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