i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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