you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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