Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
