He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
