I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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