I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
