Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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