Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can I color on your dick again?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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