Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Randomize
