I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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