Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
