He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just pee around me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
