someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
