im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
