i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
