Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
