Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Im part way to drunk.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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