she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So squirting runs in the family.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
