I just saw a hot homeless man
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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