LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
is it fun? or sober?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
