I just cut my nipple shaving
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
