I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
