Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
