just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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