i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
