what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
