Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
