Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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