every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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